This year thousands will marry wealthy. Marla Maples did it. Joan Kroc and Anna Nicole Smith did it. Roxanne Pulitzer did it and so did Tom Arnold. All of them went from first base direct to home plate, taking the shortcut to easy street.

Don your stalking gear.

You’re suave and good lookin’—why not you? Well, you’ll find no shortage of people waiting to help. A rash of dating gurus are promoting guidebooks on how to land a high net worth partner, that is, one with $750,000 or more in cash or assets. They outline the steps to locate and reel in a trophy hunk (babe) with a bulging wallet (Gucci bag). Here are some tips from the pros:

  • Hang out where the wealthy do (you can’t troll for tuna in a koi pond).
  • Live where the rich live (although you might have to live in a cardboard box).
  • Take a part-time job where the elite play (say, retrieving golf balls from the water traps).
  • Volunteer where the hi-brow coalesce (charity events are “in” places to see and be seen).
  • Don’t sleep with your quarry right away (hold out until he or she drools).
  • Avoid signing a prenuptial agreement (pull this off, and you win an Oscar).

Just got back from a Tony Robbins seminar where you walked over hot coals? Convinced you can springboard from hoi polloi to highbrow through your obvious wit, charm, and good looks (optimism trap*)? Okay, fine. But first, you have to locate where the gold is.

Going for the gold?

According to a report by Phoenix Marketing International (2014), a wealth research firm, you’re more likely to bump into a millionaire in Maryland than in any other state. It had 169,287 households with investible assets of $1 million or more, or about 7.7% of the state’s households in 2013. New Jersey, Connecticut, and Hawaii followed. Those four states, in various orders, have led the rankings every year since 2006, the first year of the survey.

No state had a bigger surge at minting millionaires than North Dakota, which moved from 43rd (one spot behind Alabama) to 29th (one ahead of Florida) in 2013. North Dakota’s energy-production boom, especially in the Bakken shale region, is driving the state’s wealth gains and pushing up paychecks of both the working class and the affluent.

Holding out for the REALLY big bling? Merrill Lynch describes ultra-high net worth individuals as having $30 million or more in financial assets. The good news is some 62 of these financial leviathans marry each year in America. The bad news is that’s 62 out of approximately two million marriages annually. Sure it worked for Joan Croc, but get real—you are one set of buns out of millions served. And for those who were smart enough to achieve some manner of wealth, why on Earth would you be dumb enough to fall for this?

Find your (true) fortune.

Attention gold diggers: marriage is a romantic union as well as a financial one. “It is good fortune if the person you love—male or female—happens to have money,” says Kim Gandy, president of the National Organization for Women. “It’s a wonderful thing, and it can certainly make life better and open opportunities for you and your children. But it is a real mistake to think that money can buy love or happiness. It can’t.”

That was sort of an eye-opener to me, that marriage is hard. But going into it, no one tells you that. They just tell you, “Do you love him? What does the dress look like?”

~ Michelle Obama, First Lady

* Questionable beliefs can “trap” our better judgment, leading to poor decisions and unintended consequences. In the optimism trap, we often overestimate the likelihood that the outcomes we want will occur. Learn more about this, and other traps, in the Young Person’s Guide to Wisdom, Power, and Life Success.

Image credit: “Promise for Life” by Dako99 (2012), licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0.